It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
