Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just had sex bonerless
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
