You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
