What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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