after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
