girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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