thus making me awesome and them whores
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
