piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She's JV to your varsity
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
