So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
