he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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