Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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