You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
