i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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