You smell like stripper and shame
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
