My friends, they love my intelligence
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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