If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
