That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
