Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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