I heard we made out
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
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What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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