I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
ok first of all what the fuck
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
