i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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