And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
