You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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