she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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