so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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