so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
