It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
