So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
...so i touched it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize