Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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