i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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