Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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