this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
