No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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