There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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