Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
