used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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