He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
