well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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