Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
