He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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