i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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