I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
