So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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