very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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