What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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