Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
