thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We need to rekindle our bromance
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
