I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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