Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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