The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
