he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
