Please, let me fuck your mom
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
