i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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