My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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