So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize