WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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