she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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