Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
