I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
