non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
