Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
